Summary: Oh, Willow. The things your spells do. And the naughty things puppies get up to.
"Okay, don't get angry with me." Was the first thing Giles heard when he opened his door that Friday evening. He raised a single eyebrow at the redheaded witch. Willow fidgeted. "It wasn't my fault."
"And do tell, what wasn't your fault?" Giles asked with a tired tone. Instead of answering, Willow looked down. Giles followed her line of vision and watched as two large balls of hair darted around his feet and into his apartment. Letting out a tired sigh, he opened his door further and allowed Willow to enter. "May I ask why you have brought over... Puppies?"
"Well, they aren't puppies per say." Willow said tentatively. Giles looked down at the two animals that were wrestling on the floor. One was a larger chocolate Labrador, the other a small pure white pit bull. They both looked to be nearing six months, still young enough to be considered puppies.
"Well, then what are they?" Giles said, not at all amused. "Hellhounds?"
"Okay, so I was practicing my 'communing with nature'." Willow started, making quotation notes with her fingers. "I was concentrating on canine energy when Spike and Xander interrupted me. I got a little... mojo-y... and next thing I know?" She pointed at the two dogs, who were now curled up around each other. "Dogs!"
"Willow... I thought we talked about this." Giles sighed. "You must make sure you will not have any interference when practicing."
"I didn't!" Willow defended. "I was in the woods! By myself, far from the Sunnydale populace. And do you realize how hard it was to get those two to follow me here? What in Hecate's name were they doing in the middle of the forest, together, anyway?"
"That I do not know." Giles pulled off his glasses and squinted down at the two pups. He paused long enough to clean the lenses before slipping them back on. Sitting down at the sofa, he turned a curious look to Willow. "I'm assuming the lab is Xander?"
"Yeah." Willow nodded. "I didn't actually see them transform, but he's got the same dopey grin that Xander has. And the pit bull has been growling and snapping at everything that moves, so it's got to be Spike. He attacked a leaf. It was kind of cute, in a bizarre sort of way."
"Cute." Giles repeated. "Let us remember to not mention that when they return to their natural state, hmm?"
"I'd still like to know what they wer-" Willow's eyes widened as she stopped mid-sentence.
"Pardon?" Giles asked.
"Giles! Oh my god! Make them stop!" Willow exclaimed frantically, pointing at the two dogs. Giles turned and looked, immediately jumping to his feet. His mouth hung open, completely unhinged.
"Hey, Giles, I found a nest of-" Buffy entered the apartment, not bothering to knock, and frowned at the shocked and horrified looks on Giles and Willow's faces. She followed their line of vision and found two adorable dogs. They were adorable, but what they were doing was far from it. "Oh my god."
"Giles! Do something." Willow hissed.
"What, exactly?" Giles asked, his voice holding a slightly amazed tone. "We use to squirt my Aunt's Yorkie with water, but I don't think that's going to work."
"Xander will not appreciate this!" Willow squeaked.
"Why? Are they his?" Buffy asked, tilting her head as she watched the two young animals.
"Not exactly." Willow mumbled, looking sheepish.
"It appears that Xander and Spike have been transformed." Giles explained. "They've turned into dogs."
"Wait! That's Xander and Spike?" Buffy's jaw dropped. "But... But... Why are they humping on each other?!"
"I believe it's more Xander is humping on Spike." Willow said softly. A look of stubbornness appeared on Buffy's face and Willow watched as the Slayer stomped over to the two dogs. She reached down and easily picked up Xander, who yelped in protest.
Spike wasn't at all pleased. The pit bull quickly jumped after Buffy's feet and sank his teeth into her ankle. Buffy let out a gasp of pain, but managed not to drop the wiggling puppy in her hands. Spike pulled back, growling deeply and baring his teeth.
"Oh, dear. Buffy... I think it would be best if you returned Xander to Spike." Giles said, before pausing. "That has got to be the oddest thing I've ever said."
"What if they start humping again?" Buffy asked worriedly, allowing Xander to return to the ground. Xander sent her a glare before bounding over to Spike. The two dogs sniffed each other, before Spike proceeded in cleaning Xander's face. Buffy groaned. "I should not be finding this cute. How did this happen and how can we fix it?"
"I've been centering my energy on masculine animals." Willow explained. She ignored the strange look that Buffy gave her. "This week was dog week. Xander and Spike interrupted me. I'd like to know what they were doing in the middle of the woods. Alone. Together."
"Don't." Buffy held up a hand. "Please. No more. I'm starting to get very bad visions of Spike and Xander pressed up against some tree, making at it like bunnies. I don't think I could take much more."
"It would explain their behavior as dogs." Giles pointed out. Buffy and Willow looked down to see Spike and Xander nuzzling each other in an expression of pure adoration and love. Buffy felt sick. Willow frowned severely. Giles just tried not to laugh, as that would not be the British thing to do.
"Do you think they are still Xander and Spike?" Willow asked, her voice filled with worry.
"That's it!" Buffy exclaimed, eager to find an excuse for their actions. "They are just animals. It's instinct. Nothing to do with Xander and Spike's true feelings for each other."
Xander and Spike were now lying side by side on the floor, Xander's head resting on top of Spike's. Xander's brown eyes gazed up at them with amusement, while Spike's blues held an arrogant tone. Buffy groaned in frustration, though she wasn't sure why.
"So... Who's going to take care of them?" Willow asked. Two sets of eyes turned toward Giles. Even the dogs looked over.
"Wonderful." Giles muttered sarcastically.
"You are the best man for the job." Buffy said.
"Yeah, we can't keep them." Willow said. "Tara's allergic."
"I'm usually with Riley." Buffy pointed out.
"All right." Giles interrupted before their list of reasons for not puppy-sitting became as long as the Atlantic was wide. "I'll watch them. But!" Giles walked over and pulled a few books off a shelf. He handed them to a stricken Willow. "You created the problem, you look towards fixing it."
"Cripes." Willow mumbled, before she took on an innocent expression.
It took a while to get them all out. Finally, after listening to Willow and Buffy insist he keep the dogs from getting frisky, Giles was left with blessed silence. He sent the sleeping animals a glance, before retiring for the night. He figured the two could look after each other. There was no need for him to supervise their sleeping.
It wasn't the only time Rupert Giles had been wrong. It wouldn’t be the last either. But never before had it left such a mess in his living room. Sighing, Giles fought down the frustration and anger that had erupted that morning, when he had entered his living room. The floor was coated in feathers, a sign that one of the pups had chose to tear up the sofa's cushion. Looking around for the beasts in question, Giles found Xander digging in the kitchen's bottom cupboard for something to eat.
This was a small proof that they were in their right mind.
The other proof came with Spike being an utter and complete anoyance. Giles had found him killing the only living plant in the house. It was definitely going to be a long day.
"Well?" Willow asked later that evening. "Did they turn back?"
"Take a look for yourself." Giles literally growled. Willow carefully walked around him and into the house, where she found Buffy and Riley. Buffy was sitting on the sofa, a soft look on her face. Riley was on the floor, laughing as Spike attempted to tackle and bite him.
"He doesn't know who it is." Buffy whispered to Willow as she joined her. A mournful sound interrupted Willow's reply.
"What's wrong with him?" Willow asked, looking over to see Xander giving Riley death glares.
"He's been acting that way ever since Riley started playing with the dog." Buffy said, careful not to mention that the dog was Spike. Watching her boyfriend roll around with a cute puppy was too adorable to pass up. And Buffy wasn't going to contemplate the fact that she thought of Spike as a cute dog.
"Think he's jealous?" Willow wondered.
"Oh, I think so." Buffy replied, an amused look appearing in her eyes. Willow followed her line of sight. It seemed that Xander had had enough of Riley playing with his buddy -- though Willow figured mate would be the appropriate term. The chocolate lab suddenly bounded forward, bit down hard on Riley's hand, and then tackled Spike to the ground.
Riley jumped up, letting out a yowl of pain. The girls paid him no mind, instead watching as Xander pinned the smaller dog down and growled. Spike whimpered underneath Xander, twisting a moment to get away. Then, the pit bull seemed to come to terms with it's fate and became still, looking up at Xander with a strange look. Xander's growl stopped and he leaned down and began cleaning Spike's face.
"Aw!" Buffy squealed. "That was so cute."
"My hand hurts." Riley muttered. "But it is cute."
"Willow, did you figure out how to, uh, break the spell?" Giles asked. He had a feeling that with the way Xander was acting, they would be seeing a bit more than snuggles in a moment. He hoped they could avoid that.
"Oh, yeah." Willow said in an off hand voice, staring at the two dogs.
"And?" Giles prompted.
"Just have to concentrate on them being human again." Willow replied.
"Willow... Do you plan on-" Giles stopped mid sentence as a rush of wind swept through the room. All four stared down at Xander and Spike, who were suddenly very human.
Xander stilled, his body tense. He could feel Spike below him, taste the vampire on his tongue. In fact, his tongue was still in the process of licking Spike's cheek. Pulling away, Xander carefully sat up.
"Xander, are you okay?" Giles asked softly.
"Huh? Yeah." Xander replied, looking down at a dazed Spike.
"What happened, pet?" Spike said, his voice sounding hoarse.
"Uhh..." Xander tilted his head in thought. "I think... I think we got turned into some animal. Like a dog? Maybe? I told you we shouldn't of gone out into the woods. It was probably some evil demon, threatening to turn the world into dogs!"
"Actually, it was me." Willow said in a meek voice.
"Oh, well, that's okay then." Xander replied, shrugging. "As long as no one got hurt."
"Well, I got bit." Riley said.
"Huh. Wondered why I tasted blood." Xander commented.
"Uh, Xander?" Buffy asked, catching his attention. "Aren't you a little wigged out? I mean, you were a dog. A dog that was licking and humping and tackling Spike! We almost had to hose you down!"
"Well..." Xander trailed off, sharing a look with Spike.
"Ah, might as well tell them." Spike said with a small smirk.
"Never thought this would be how it came out, but..." Xander took a deep breath. "Me and Spike are dating."
"I wouldn't really call it dating, pet." Spike offered. "More like..."
"Shagging like bunnies and offering our divine love unto one another?" Xander finished.
"Something like that." Spike nodded. "Though, all things considering I think shagging like dogs is more appropriate."
"Oh my god." Buffy looked sick.
"That explains why they were in the woods." Willow said softly. Riley made a grunting noise, which was followed by a thump. Willow and Buffy looked over to see that Riley was now passed out on the floor.
"I think the fact that he was playing on the floor with Spike has finally gotten through his brain." Buffy commented.
"Yeah, what was up with that?" Xander asked, giving Spike a dark look.
"Oi, I wasn't playing!" Spike defended. "I was trying to do some real damage but the git kept laughing and moving too fast."
"Would you two mind finishing that argument somewhere else?" Giles asked, cleaning his glasses in that age old ritual of avoiding the subject. "Then you both can come back tomorrow night and clean up my house, which you turned into a mess."
"I am not clea-" Spike stopped as Xander whispered in his ear. The vampire raised an eyebrow, looked Xander up and down, then nodded. "Right. See you idiots tomorrow. Me and the boy have something to do."
"Oh, gross! Visuals!" Buffy exclaimed as Spike dragged Xander out of the house.
"Another day in Sunnydale, another problem solved." Willow announced. Giles muttered to himself, speaking words that Willow tried to ignore. Shrugging, the young witch waved goodbye and darted out of the house, planning on a little fun with her own girlfriend. Buffy sighed dramatically, which Giles pretended not to hear.
"Well, it's just you and me. Wanna spar?" Buffy asked.
"No, that's quite all right." Giles replied, heading upstairs. "Oh, do pick up your things on the way out."
"Spoil sport." Buffy grumbled, reaching down and lifting Riley easily.